Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize