Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Say something about gay babies.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
