Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
