Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
