ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
