dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
