I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
