Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
