Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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