please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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