FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I just had sex on a roof
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
