is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
