Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
We have started to decorate penises.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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