We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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