Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
