last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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