I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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