I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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