Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I don't think brook has ever known best
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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