farters have to be the big spoon...
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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