Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
