4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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