i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
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