There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
