Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
My feet surprised me
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