The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
