Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
do herpes really smell.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize