Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Randomize
