Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
