I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
