i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Operation Purity has been aborted
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
