Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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