She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
