i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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