I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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