Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize