don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
