My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Randomize
