I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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