She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
