Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
