Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
