Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
