mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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