Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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