Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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