have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
