I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
