Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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