Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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