I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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