Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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