My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
