After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
