What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
