Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
