So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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