Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
