ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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