all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
