I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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